Wedding Ski Artillery

This is a dream I had a few nights ago. I have been kind of busy lately, so I only got this one posted now:

Last night, my dream opened with me being part of a very strange wedding that happened to take place in the gymnasium of my old high school. Before the wedding started, there were a few people showing up, and they were having a good time. To my disapproval, they began drinking alcoholic beverages, and throwing the glasses on the floor, where they shattered loudly. I felt that someone had to clean up the mess, so I went hunting through the back hallway to find a broom. Somebody reprimanded me, and so I decided to go pick up the glass pieces by hand. When I got back, however, someone had already gone ahead and cleaned up all the mess. Just then it was time to start the program. All the groomsmen (there were about 10) and I ran around the edge of the audience, around some curtains, and burst out onto the stage. Then, a large number of bridesmaids did the same. There was some commotion, and then members of the wedding party were picked at random to go out and usher special guests to the front. A couple others and I were selected, and our first guest was Johnny Cash. I remember thinking this was odd, since Cash is dead, but we found him anyway and pointed him in the right direction. Next, we went after Tom DeLonge. He was exactly as I expected: half jerk, half nice guy. After we collected everyone, we ran back to the stage. As we did, I looked down and realized I was wearing nothing but my boxers. I was somewhat uncomfortable, but instead of worrying, I just hiked them up a bit and continued to trot up to the front. When we got there, the bridesmaids ran to the back of the gym and escorted the bride to the stage. Then, she summoned a large fabric balloon of sorts (which I presumed contained her husband-to-be). Everyone started chanting, and the groomsmen pulled up on the fabric, while the bridesmaids pulled down on the other side. A twisting mass of ropes began to pull apart in the middle, and I could see the groom inside. Just then, I put my hand in the wrong place, and my finger got stuck in the treacherous ropes. It kept getting pulled higher and higher, and I kept thinking that I was going to either lose my finger, ruin the ceremony, or both. However, I got it free just at the right moment, and the next thing I knew, I was on a ski hill.

As a chairlift hoisted me into the icy heavens, I noticed that the slope wasn't fully covered in snow. There were a few patches of rock peeking out from the white side of the mountain. When I got to the top, I turned my snowboard downhill and began carving my way to the bottom. The closer to the bottom I got, however, the more patchy and wet the snow got. In some places, there was much more ground then snow, and I only barely made it down. When I finished the run, my mother was waiting to pick me up. She immediately began telling me that I had to apply to get provincially subsidized medication. I began to argue with her, saying that I wasn't in need of any medication, and we continued on this way until I realized that I had left my sister on the ski hill. My mom consoled me, saying that Bryn had called her from the top, telling her to leave without her. I acquiesced, and we continued driving. As we putted along, I saw what looked like an airstrike off in the distance. When we got closer, I realized that it was a howitzer, shooting at the rocky hills to proactively cause predictable avalanches. We got closer, and another howitzer around the corner was also pelting the frozen landscape. One hunk of icy snow landed right beside us, and was barely rolled out of the way before a semi passed us. We decided it was a bit too dangerous, and so we pulled the vehicle over and got out on the side of the road.

We walked up to a small group of people manning the artillery, and they greeted us warmly. It seems that they were a group of evangelicals that happened to all have the task of de-avalanchizing the countryside (I should also probably interject that, at just about this time, I got the impression that we were in Oregon). As we watched, the group kept both meeting us and pelting the land with their explosive rounds. While this happened, I peered at each of them intently. Many of them looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place when or where I had seen them before. Then, in amongst all this, we suddenly (and silently) grew very close emotionally. As a couple thunderous avalanches tore their way down the hill and through a close grove of trees, we all gathered together and began singing the Christian song "Into my Heart." Then, one middle-aged man (presumably the minister of this strange group) began to have a sermon of sorts, while out of the ground a bowl-shaped formation of rock began to rise. We circled around it, and as the pastor ended his talk, everyone in the group thanked us for being there and becoming such good friends with them. Then I awoke.